summer?

karlie kloss; vogue us

I loathe summer. I hate the sun, the heat, getting tanned and beach culture. When the heat rises, style goes out the window. Of course this statement isn’t accurate when applied to every single person but I’ve seen my fair share of stretch marks, denim cutoffs and mangled flip flops since the start of the season. But I digress as I understand; comfort is important. Is it possible to be fashionable when it’s 40°C?

Answer: NO, unless you want to die.

Negating swimwear, there always seems to be a disconnect from the majority of S/S runway trends and real life. This goes for both womenswear and menswear. In a season where comfort is the first thought in getting dressed, designers sure love to troll the fashion obsessed. As Donatella sips her ice cold Perrier, nude atop her balcony, some poor (and stupid) girl is sweating to death in one of her plastic party dresses. As Rick Owens pumps iron at his local gym, a woman cannot undo her tie-front, heavy linen jacket as the first faint hints of her body odour emanate through the porous fabric. While Nicolas Ghesquière watches reruns of Doctor Who in nothing but his underwear in front of giant fan, a young socialite is dining uncomfortably in front of a  swarm of paparazzi, unsure of how to sit as her techno fabric shorts are too stiff and her Darth Vader-esque headwear blocks her view. I can discuss and hate all I want but that would be saying that I am immune to this.

As much as I want to, I know I can’t wear a leather t-shirt in the summer even if it is on all the menswear runways. For the most part, I’m usually fully covered. If I wear a t-shirt, there’s usually an oversized wool blazer on top of it much to the dismay of my colleagues.

“Aren’t you hot?”
“What the hell are you wearing?”
“How are you not dying in that?”

are their usual questions. “It’s fashion, people!,” is what is being thought in my head as a comeback, but I just give a simple shrug as a response.  Autumn/Winter is just more to my liking. In the words of Ke$ha, We R who We R, right? But can you really blame me for this? To illustrate my point about disconnect, here are some of my favourite S/S 13 menswear looks:

See, what’s a boy to do?!

Secondly, contrary to popular belief, Canadian summers are hot! Our igloos have melted and we’re forced to eat our poutine and beaver tails in the sweltering heat. It is because of this that I have recently succumb to societal pressures and have begun to “embrace” summer (albeit under the protective shield of my  SPF90) by purchasing a tank top. Reluctant at first, I have been living in it for the past month and I have to admit, it feels nice. No more sweating, no more uncomfortable walks to my car, no more annoying questions from my colleagues. However, I won’t be wearing flip flops anytime soon, but maybe next summer I can work my way up to shorts. Sigh, If only summer came without the heat and humidity. Until the first leaf turns colour, I guess I can tough it out.

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